Antoine Bowes Counselling

A useful summary of spiritual growth


1- Instead of blaming and shaming others, you focus within on your own individual growth in respect to your actions, thoughts and intentions. 

2- You judge much less or not at all. You do not feel the need to put someone else down to lift yourself up. Do not confuse judgement with discernment and healthy boundaries. 

3- You hold space and time for yourself to go within and reflect on your emotions/thoughts /intentions. You don’t do it out of self criticism rather as an integral part of your own growth process.

4- You see the positives in others before the negatives. For most people this is not easy however it is a choice and it is helpful to develop mental equanimity.

5- You are spontaneously aware every time you are triggered and you proactively trace each trigger back to its origin within you to bring it out to the light and heal it lovingly.

6- You don’t feel the need to act out of revenge or anger. Instead you come into your heart centre to remind yourself that you are not the emotion of LOVE that comes and goes but your natural state of being is love. Emotions, though may seem real to the experiencer/perceiver, are not in the sense that they are in constant flux. They come and go, rise and fall, and take many shapes and colours… we fall into a pit if we cling on to them or identify with any. Each is an encounter between the individual/ego identity, a part of us that hasn’t healed and a situational circumstance that prompts them to move through us. You know you are healing when you not only recognise the emotions but also foster acceptance of their nature and lose all identification with them. 

Feeling emotions in our bodies whilst knowing we are safe helps pull up past patterns to be felt and healed. 

7- You recognise that others who speak harshly or badly to/about you might be doing so from a place of deep hurt; You choose to step into your heart and empathise with them instead of reacting as they have. As we help others, we heal ourselves.

8- You recognise your own hurt and pains and speak openly about them instead of using avoidance or suppression. You give your self permission to grief/ delve deeper in the pain and slowly heal.

9- You do not play the role of the victim instead you step into your divine masculine and divine feminine and work on creating balance between the dualistic powerful forces through intimate conjunction and harmony of the two.

10- You do not self deprecate or self loathe. You increasingly foster loving relationship with yourself as you begin to recognise all of you an inseparable part of the creator.   

11- You nurture your self, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. By recognising that you embody all aspects of the Universe, matter and non matter, consciousness, earth and the elements, your mission thus becomes an internal one leading you towards the light and love of your inherent self. Through healing our trauma we heal the earth and the Multiverse. 

12- You are beginning to see and feel through everything that is not adding to your well-being and evolution; you might re-evaluate old paradigms, friendships, habits and diet. 

The key aspects of self healing are self awareness, curiosity and good support. 

(Adapted with thanks from Matt Nicolaci)

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